​Before we begin, I’d like for you to take a moment and watch this video called “This Is My Body.” Hold on, I know I’ve got the link somewhere… Ah, here we go.  Please turn all cell phones to vibrate and do not disturb the other viewers

Holy shit! Can you believe that? Woman, thinking they can decide what’s right for them all on their own? What is this world coming to when the owner of girlie parts finds pride! Gentleman, methinks something is amiss… Since when does a person of the feminine gender speak out against oppression in the misguided belief that they deserve equality? This is America, land of the free and home of the brave and place where a woman’s place is between the sink and oven.

We can’t allow them to break free of the shackles forced upon them and move into the sun! They might have a thought, learn to read more than a cookbook and… and… oh my Dark Lord… form opinions

And what if, one day, they decide not to be the sexual slaves that nature intended? They could say things like not tonight and not that hole. And they could say who and where they’ll fuck a man; guys, the right to take a woman anyway, anyhow could be destroyed. And you know what this could lead to? A choice in who to marry! Imagine that! A… woman having a say in who owns her once her father’s beaten her for the last time! 

What was that? I’m not allowed to smack you around? Bullshit!

And what happens if they start working? Instead of just popping out future generations? Work! Away from the house! Just imagine, women in control of their destinies; working as cops, firefighters, teachers (that one’s scary, alright) and other jobs that, obviously, only a man can perform.  

What’s next? The constitutionally guaranteed right to vote? They might do something crazy like actually go! We can’t have that. No, no, no. Cause if that happens, then they might… run for an office! The world, my friend, would simply end. Once you allow them a voice, it’ll grow. And before you know it, videos like this “This Is My Body” will pop up and people and women might buy into it! They’ll claim it’s their right, their choice, their vagina! They’ll want full equality! 

How can we let that happen!

Oh wait, there shouldn’t be a need for equal rights fighting. They should already just be. The fact that in 2012, a video like this had to be made, is rather disarming. We should be passed this neanderthal bullshit where anyone alive is deemed as lesser than the person standing next to them simply due to a roll of the genetic dice. Fuck the bigots, racists, sexists, anti-gays, douchebags who bitch about the “sanctity of marriage” and every other cunt-rag who thinks they are somehow guaranteed superiority because their shit don’t stink. We’re all human. Yes, some are an off-shoot (homo sapiens douche-bagious) and with the grace of whoever’s misunderstood, mistranslated Good Word they hide behind they one day learn that they are the ones dragging this human race down.

Will is an author and artist and producer (it’s only one indie short film but it’s on IMDB.com so it totes counts!) and founder of fetchentertainment.com and pain in the ass. He rather opinionated and has no problem sharing his thoughts on a variety of topics from the freakshow that was Election 2016 (how tf did Trump freaking win!?) to the importance of matching that belt to those shoes. He adores penguins and has a maniacal plan to use an army of them to take over the world and crown himself Emperor of All That Is (though he’d be happy with the Winter Russian Palace in what he would rename Mine!-Mine!-Mine!) but until then enjoys hiding away in his apartment and writing all sorts of tales that would worry that cokehead Sigmund Freud (really, we should believe he snorted for science!?) and drawing pictures of his creations.

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