There must be something in the air. All these no good, lousy exes of mine crawling out of the woodwork, looking for yet another go. I saidhell no to each and every one for the longest time. But, as we all know, the goddamned law of averages always wins out. And it was after numerous pleads from a certain former fun-time partner that I relented and said what the hell, let's do this. So please, welcome back... Stalker.
I know, I know. Of all the one-night wonders (or soul-sucking failures) I've bedded, why oh why would I jump back into the sack with Stalker? Honestly? I was bored and Stalker, for all those pesky flaws, is a good time, at least when nudity's involved. And, as always, the entertainment made the trip there worth it.
But then came the painful part that I've tried to hard to avoid. Cuddling. Yes, I did it. This whore spent the night. And yes, when I woke from what little sleep I was able to squeeze out of the evening, I found myself wondering why I'd gone in the first place.
See, in the soft glow of the morning light, I looked around the little room while Stalker showered and asked myself what I was doing there. Darkness knows I didn't stay the night for my benefit; I hate sleeping anywhere but my bed (remember Scout and all that fun?) and no one lays beside me but Fat Madison (hey, you try telling a 20 pound cat no!) We're not in a relationship, mostly because Stalker torpedoed that by being a complete douche last time 'round, so its not like its expected of me in this arrangement. But there I was, coming to after a night of terrible sleep.
What the fuck, man? Its not like I'm head over heels here. I'm not even head under heels. There are no heels, only head.
See, while I was grinning like that naught boy I am on the way there, the moment I stepped in the door was a total and complete why am i doing this sort of moment. Um, hormones? And while I doubted the purpose of mine agreeing the bone like teenage bunnies the clothing came off and hours of fun ensued. So much fun that my poor dick couldn't take any more.
Should have been awesome, right?
Wrong. Cause after the hanky panky came the cuddling. I fucking hate cuddling while sleeping. Its a sweaty. skin rubbing uncomfortable exercise that never leads to orgasm - until I say fuck it and we fuck. yea, um, don't expect much sleep if I'm asked to stay over. You touch me one too many times, it on till someone gets off.
And every time we got down and dirty, Stalker had to squeeze next to me and breath on me and touch me with sweaty skin and force my neck into stiff-creating (and not the enjoyable stiffying) positions. So yea, by morning, any and all left over feelings of oo, ah, let's fuck were dead and buried. And I left, after a quick shower that I was almost denied. Yes, denied.
Listen, you invite someone over and crush them in sleep than you better hand over that towel. I don't care if you gotta be at work and someone might caught me and whatever else stupid ass reason you got going on in your head. I ain't bringing your ick home with me. Live with it.
I know, I know... I'm so fucking demanding. But I deserve to be. And if you don't like it, don't ask the whore to spend the night. Trust me, its as much for you as it is for me.
And in case you're wondering, yes, I was going to see Stalker again but the gods intervened and sent a blizzard to stop me. Says something, don't it?