You know those friends around you that you just know are bad for your mental health? But for some ungodly reason you keep them around? And its not like they have even a single redeeming feature, either. No matter what you do to help them up, they fight back (or do nothing at all) and instead set their hooks in you and try to drag you down with them. Dude, really? What the fuck? We all have at least one of those, don't we? We try and try and try and try and try (ad fucking nauseum) only to get used up and dropped after all that hard work. I should probably warn you, this may turn into a rant. So feel free to enjoy.
Over the years, I've had certain friends (what others would call “projects”) who were not the best people to have around me. I've only recently, in fact, given up on a extremely whiny, self-centered, abusive fuckhead. I tried, as I always do, to see past the bullshit that seemed to surround this cunt-fuck like a shit filled aura. I will only tolerate so much. And then, its time to say good bye. And you know what? I don't feel the least bit guilty; I kind of want to throw a “Bye Bye Asshole” party! After a week of not hearing even a peep from this jackass, I'm quite certain that little shindig (booze and chocolate!) is not premature.
Seem kind of cruel? Silly, silly people. Even if it is (and that's a big ol' if) cruel, I do not give a rat's ass. Curious why? Of course you are. So, I shall tell you...
Imagine someone you care about. Got that? Good. Now, imagine you doing whatever necessary to help that someone you care about. And its not always easy doing what must be done, but you do it. And, mostly, there's a smile on your face. But, every so often, you have a bad day and let the world know it. We're all human, aren't we? For the most part, though, you do the good friend this and keep chugging along. And what you do seems to be working. Yea! Then, the floor drops and there you go.
Shit. Remember that one bad day? That someone you care about does and before you know it, you're being punished for it. All the good, nice, helpful things you did are suddenly null and void. While they are where they are because of you (and that place is a very good place, perhaps even better than your place) all they care about is bringing you down. Why? Why, why, why, why, why?
They are only about one person. That dick-shit they see when they look in the mirror. You don't really matter; too bad that wasn't apparent earlier. Would have been nice to see that the whole friendship thing was just a waste of your time. Also, and do not mention this to anyone, sometimes we (I) do not want to see the creepy little bastard inside some we (I) care so much about. Stupid heart, always getting in the way. This is why I envy Jadis. Everything was cold. But damn it, if the diamond don't have a fucking flaw...
So, still think its exceedingly cruel to celebrate and dipshit's not so fond farewell? If you do, then I also envy you. Obviously, you have lived a perfectly happy life where nothing bad ever happens. Sounds boring. I take back my envy. No, I would not trade in the shit I've shoveled for a life of naivety. I am who and what I am because of the experiences of my past.
Still, it does not change the fact that people like the one this column is about are something we could all do with less of. Not the going away part, though. I'm talking about the ever bothering to wander into my life part. Can't they all go and live in some state or country no one cares about? Why come around here? Or there? Or any where for that matter? Why bother me when there's something you need? I'm sure there are other people you can use to get whatever it is your greedy and selfish heart desires. Oh, wait, that's right; you're realfriends aren't really all that friend-like, are they? And you know I won't turn your ass away. And to a point, that's true. But you know that limit far out in the cosmos that once reached makes it impossible for me to care any more?
We. Are. There.
So no more of your whining. No more of your self pity. No more of you taking you shit out on me like I'm your sad little bitch. I am finished with the poison you spew. Nothing that passes from your lips will reach my ears. You've done your damage. Now its time for me to do mine.
Don't get all nervous and pathetic; I'm not going to hurt you. Not directly, at least. No, my payback is simple. I'm taking me out of your life. Again. This second chance (let's be honest, we past second chance a long ass time ago) is over. That last conversation... Well, I hope you won't be regretting those words you took no time to choose. I admit, I am glad I got talked to that way. Made me realize, once and for all, that me and you would never be anywhere near to what you claimed you wanted me and you to be. Ah, closure. Nice thing to get, if you get it; hope you got it. If not... Not my issue. Go cry on someone else's shoulder, mine's officially off limits. To you. Just wanted to make that clear.
I have done a lot of moving on lately, and I know already that there is even more saying good bye in my not to distant future. And again I'll give this warning: if any part of you feels like any part of this column has anything to do with you, consider yourself on notice and hurry real quick to fix whatever is wrong.
See, not totally heartless.