All humans are sexual. It is only the stigma of the act that makes us claim otherwise. For so many years, sex has been looked upon as dirty, and only a means of increasing an already overpopulated and abused planet. 

​Masturbation is something to be ashamed of, to be locked away, and never spoken of in “Polite Society.” Hell, if you are one of those who can get your own rocks off, have at it, at least you know everyone has been fulfilled when it’s over.

We can not talk about Menstruation. Oh no, she bleeds from no visible wound for 2-14 days and doesn’t die! It is an abomination! Kill it with fire! Go ahead and see how quickly the human race ends. It’s a bodily function, like shitting, pissing, blowing your nose. If it needs to come out, it will find away. Get over it already.  

Anal Sex oh only the sick Homosexuals do that. It’s dirty, it’s wrong it is an abomination. 

Yeah, tell me that again when the pictures of you drilling your wife from behind with Fido on her face are released. That may have been crass. Oh well, can’t take it back now if I wanted to.

Fact is the largest sexual organ the body has is the skin. There are millions of pleasure receptors all over it and inside it, this includes the Anal Cavity, some enjoy it, some do not. But don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

Did I get your attention? Are you still here? Okay Good. You have an open mind.

Ever since the Akin scandal of “Legitimate Rape,” there has been a lot of posts, all over the place, from meme to blogs about what an ass he is, how if he were raped maybe he would understand, links about other members of the GOP who feel like he does. That Ryan thinks it’s nothing more than a side issue, Blah, Blah, and Blah. 

Then there is the question of what constitutes a “legitimate rape”?  

I looked it up, and according to the revision made by the DOJ in January, RAPE is:

Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.

This “revision” was supposed to be a way of acknowledging that men too can be rape victims. It still does not do this, a men can and indeed have been raped without penetration to their body occurring. Women are guilty of this horrendous violence as much as men are. The difference, men do not come forward. Why? For the very same reason that many women do not, they blame themselves. When men do come forward they are belittled, and their masculinity is again called into question because of myths like, ‘You can’t rape the willing.’

An Erection is not Consent.

Just as a woman can become sexually aroused during a rape, so too can a man, this betrayal of our own bodies is what causes us to blame ourselves. Asking questions that make us believe that if we doubt then why would anyone else believe us.

Women are asked why didn’t you fight? 

Men are asked why didn’t you win? 

Adding to the thoughts that women are weak and men should have no issue with tossing off a horny housewife, if he really didn’t want her on top of him. It just goes to show that the stereotypes run deep and make a complaining witness a target.

There are so many myths that are just accepted, not all women are soft and demure. Some will kick your ass just for being in the room. Not all men are douche bags or assholes or can bench press a Buick. There are men in this world who are open and real, who would never for any reason hurt a woman.

Just because a skirt runs up your ass does not mean it’s an open invitation for something else to join it. But sometimes it does.

Let’s face it when it comes to sex and sexuality the lines are so blurred that paralysis ensues. There is a difference between sex and sexuality, and I am not referring to sexuality in terms of what part of who goes where. 

Merriam-Webster defines SEXUALITY as: 

 The quality or state of being sexual:
A: the condition of having sex
B: sexual activity
C: expression of sexual receptivity or interest especially when excessive

For the sake of this tirade, I am referring to C, although I personally am knocking off everything after interest.

As far as I/ most of us have ever observed, the social norms are:

Heterosexual men are encouraged to fulfill their animalistic urges as often as they can. Typically celebrating the notches in their belts, however if you are a man who *ahem, respects women and have not had many conquests then there is something wrong with you. 

You are accused of being a Mama’s boy, a nerd, and geek or even gasp! A Fag.

The reason for this, men are taught to be strong, silent, and aggressive. It is okay and expected of them. This is accepted as truth.

Homosexual men, often they are promiscuous, feminine, limp wristed and spend all of their time trying to seduce straight men.

Why? The argument is that they were probably either coddled too much by an over bearing mother, or were sexually abused at a young age.  This is accepted as truth.

Notice it is sexually abused, not raped, because as the DOJ clearly states, the male can not be raped if he is not penetrated. (Dumbasses) 

I have known many a homosexual man who could seriously kick my ass all over Connecticut, and frankly, the strongest relationship examples I know are not heterosexual.

Now on to the women, oh, we are a contradiction aren’t we? We have won the rights to do as men do in society, but not when it comes to sex.

My mother always said, “Men want their women to be three things, a maid, a cook, and a whore, when we cease to be any of these is when men will complain.”

Heterosexual women don’t like sex. Period. They use it as a means of manipulation to get whatever they want from men. Women hold out as long as possible to reap as many rewards as they can. This takes a sharp turn.

You are a good woman if you wait to have sex until Marriage, and then it is for procreation not recreation. 

But… If short skirts, low cut tops, and lingerie are your greatest weapons than you are a slut, a cheap whore, a gold digger. A Tramp, a floozy, a trollop and because you don’t know your worth, you give other women a bad reputation.  

And what is the biggest reason these terrible, terrible women do not know their worth? An absentee father or some other man hurt or abused them in some way. This is accepted as truth.

Homosexual women are a myth, just straight women experimenting or they are all Bull Dykes who just need some dick to set them straight. Or like Homosexual men, they were hurt or abused at some point by a man, so they will never trust another one. This is accepted as truth.

Hurt or abused by parents, or peers, in “negative” ways. This is the distinction of all “abnormal outlets” of sexual desire. 

This is accepted as truth because there are still so many people in this world, not just this Great Country of The USA that are afraid of what it would mean if those thoughts that scare the shit out of them at night could be acted upon without fear. 

“It would be another Sodom and Gomorrah”

I’ve seen this in a few places that are against the use of our bodies as we see fit. Somehow, I doubt this very much. We have running water and condoms now, we have laws, while in need of reform that protect us against rape. Back in “biblical times,” they often forced the raped individual to marry their rapist. Now a days he can just sue for custodial rights if a child is born from the violence, don’t believe me, look it up. I’m not going to do your work for you. 

The facts are that all multi-cell beings are sexual. Sex the act, is natural, it is pleasurable. When practiced safely and consensually it’s a hell of a lot of fun! Not to mention a far more enjoyable way of working off that chocolate cake than say an hour run. 

But telling us we all should act a certain way, based solely on our born anatomy is bullshit. We are not all the same, we do not all feel the same ways. We are diverse, we are each our own person, how dull it would be if we were not. Do as you please with what belongs to you. Just keep it consensual, and remember those safe words so no one gets too roughed up, cuz you know some of us like a little pain with our pleasure.  

Personally, I like Bananas, cuz how often does that come up in bed? Well, for some I suppose…

But that’s a whole other tale.

About the Author

You can find S. I. Hayes on Facebook, Goodreads and Twitter. She is the author of In Dreams: The Road Unavaoidable and coauthor of Awakenings: The Wrath Saga

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