Jamie is afraid of giving into his unnatural desires yet he agreed to the parent-free sleepover with Devon and Jacob. He knew he should've stayed away, out of fear that he'd give away his secret and lose his best friend. But will Jacob's own secret bring him peace or drag his immortal soul closer to Hell...
Jacob lived in one of the nicest houses in their little exclusive community. The modern design two floor, six thousand square foot house was half glass as giant windows left the large kitchen and spacious living room exposed sat in the middle of a two acre plot. Even though Jamie could clearly see into the enviable home, the circle of giant oak trees kept it hidden from the street.
As he stepped up the stone porch, he peered inside and saw Jacob and Devon sprawled out on the floor with their eyes glued to the explicit movie that played on the seventy inch television built into the wall. Jacob only wore a pair of light blue gym shorts; Jamie liked the way the hung loosely at his hips. Devon had on cargo shorts and an a-shirt that clung to his just-developing muscles; Jamie appreciated that sight, too. The sight rushed blood to his extremities and he felt himself stiffen. This is a mistake. I shouldn’t be here. The temptation…
Jacob and Devon might have been sinners but Jamie couldn’t imagine theirs being as disgusting as his; it was one thing for boys to lie with women but only a sick child such as himself would even dream of being with another boy, no matter how high the mere sight of one might make him feel. He had to fight the urges and ignore the wicked fantasies and be the good Christian boy his parents would be proud to call their son.
He closed his eyes and balled his fists until he thought he’d break the skin of is palms. Please, Jesus, save me from my weakness; heal me of these impurities I’m not strong enough to fight alone. Only you can show me the way. He opened his eyes and looked at his hands and stared at the bites in his flesh. Why can’t I be normal?
“Jamie, you actually came.” Jacob stood there, looking fit and beautiful as always. Jamie hadn’t even heard his friend open the door; he looked up and flashed an awkward smile. He tried not to let his gaze linger over Jacob’s smooth chest; he wanted so bad to reach out and touch him, caress him, but knew what he wanted was wrong. “You gonna come in?”
“Um, yeah.” He shifted his hips, tried to hide the aching erection he knew had to be obvious, and brushed past Jacob. “Sorry I’m late. I had to finish my homework first.”
“’s cool.” Jacob closed the door and motioned toward the living room, where Devon was still on the hardwood floor, his eyes on the two young men, one slightly older woman sex scene while he rubbed the bulge in his shorts. “Me an’ Dev were just getting’ to the good part.” He dropped onto the couch, his knees bent and legs spread just wide enough that Jamie could see he wasn’t wearing any underwear.
“So, um, what you guys watching?”
“Naughty School Boys, Vol. 2.”
“Oh, Sounds, um, interesting.”
“Not really but, hey, free porn.”
- - - -
Jacob was thrilled Jamie’d come but chose to keep his excitant to himself; he didn’t want him to think there was anything up and an extra cheery Jacob would’ve been an obvious hint. He was going to tell him – everything – but not right away and not all at once. He needed to pace himself if he wanted there to be any chance they’d still be friends afterward. Until the time was right, he’d test the water; he’d purposely not worn underwear beneath the shorts he knew gave Jamie a show just to study his best friend’s expression every time he flashed him.
He didn’t for a moment think that Jamie would be tearing clothing off; he just wanted to see if he’d be up for some circle jerk fun. He’d been long curious how far he might get Jamie to go, even with the strict religious upbringing they’d both been forced to endure. He wouldn’t mind something beyond mutual masturbation but was well aware there was a better chance of Jesus Christ hopping off that giant cross in front of the church and hailing Satan. But first, he needed to share his truth. The risks didn’t matter; if he could be honest with Jamie of all people, he’d never truly be himself.
“Dude, sit, relax, pretend like you’ve been here a million times before.”
“Uh…” Jamie sat on the opposite end of the couch with his book bag on his lap. Jacob swallowed a chuckle but not before Jamie noticed his amused expression. “What?”
“Nothin’ bro.” Jamie’d always been uncomfortable with normal bodily functions; he’d never even sat on the toilet when he slept over. To be caught with a raging hard on would’ve been too much for the boy. Jacob decided to change the subject. “We’re ordering pizza; pepperoni good for you?”
“Um, yeah.” Jamie seemed to relax and lean back though he kept the bag on his waist. “And extra mozzarella.”
“Dudes, quiet,” Devon said without taking his eyes off the threesome. “Some of us are trying to enjoy ourselves.”
- - - -
Jamie’d noticed and, even though he didn’t want to watch, couldn’t stop looking. Devon hadn’t done much to warrant attention – all he’d done was rub himself over his shorts – but knowing his friend was so close to just going for it made him more excited. He silently recited his prayer for strength and hoped he could deny his sick nature.
“Hey, what’s up?” Jacob’d moved right beside him, close enough for him to feel the heat emanating off his skin. It was intoxicating. “I know you’re hidin’ something.”
“No, Jake, I’m good.” He turned to him and smiled a fake smile that he’d see through in a second but he figured he’d try. “Just tired.”
“Okay.” Jamie knew he didn’t believe him but there no way he was going to spill his horrid secret. “So, um, sorry about the movie. We didn’t think you’d be here.”
“I said I’d come.” The comment cut but he understood it; he usually wormed out of anything remotely bad and a sleepover without parents was most definitely a bad thing.
“Yeah, I know.” Jacob moved his bag to the floor and placed a hand on his knee. “I’m just…”
“Yeah?” Jamie’s heart thudded. He wanted him in ways both unnatural and unholy. He could almost feel Jacob’s hand sliding up his thigh to his longing flesh. The impulses grew and tried to overshadow his upbringing. He wanted Jacob’s hands and lips and tongue all over him and didn’t care what that meant for his immortal soul.
“There’s, un, something I been meanin’ to tell you.” He seemed nervous; Jamie’d never seen him like that. Jacob was always strong and sure and confident; nothing was too frightening or dangerous for him to face. “It’s about Tess… um, actually, about me but…”
“Dude,” Jamie grabbed his hand. “What is it?”
“Just fuckin’ say it,” Devon barked from the floor.
“I’m workin’ on it, asshole.” He took a deep breath. “That woman I was with… she, um… she had a dick.”
Jamie’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t believe what he’d heard. He tried to form a response but simple words proved too difficult. His best friend had just admitted he was… Jamie wasn’t even sure what the word was.
“Tess is a transwoman.”
“Did… did you know? I mean, before you two…?”
“Yeah. Jamie, man, I… I like transwoman… and boys… and, well, everyone. I think I’m bi or maybe pan or…” Jacob shook his head. “I don’t know what I am. I just… I just know what I like. And I know you and your family are all “God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” but I… I needed to tell you, even if that means you hate me.”
“Jacob…” Jamie wrapped his arms around him and for the first time, heard Jacob cry. “I’m not like my family… I don’t care that you’re… whatever you are.” He almost told Jacob his secret; he knew he could tell him without losing him but something still kept him quiet.
“Wow, man, I…” He pulled away and smiled as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “I was freaking out. I really thought…”
“Dude, you can tell me anything. I’ll never judge.” Jamie felt relief settle over him; he might not have been ready to come clean but after Jacob’s confession, he knew he’d at least have his best friend left if his secret ever got out. “So, um, you’ve been with… boys?”
“Yeah, um, lots. Including that one.” He motioned toward Devon, who’d at some point undid his shirts and slipped his hand inside. “Mostly boys from school. Christian boys are super horny.”
“Is that why you two… this morning?”
“Yeah. Sorry about that but Tess left me in kind of a delicate manner, shall we say, and I didn’t have time before school to take care of it.”
“Wow. I mean, I never realized…”
“Pizza.” Devon whined.
“What?” Jacob asked.
“Pizza. I’m starved. Order it already.”
- TO BE CONTINUED -