With so much on the upswing, I have to admit that life is good. While there are still speed bumps littering the way, things are far from sucking. And being in the rather optimistic state of mind outweighs the nagging little battles going on inside. And that is why I have come to an important decision.
I am done. Done with the people orbiting my life who only seem to be there to gain something. No longer am I tolerating the ones who only come calling when they want something. They can deal on their own. For too long I have allowed others to speak to me in ways unbecoming of who and what I am. No more empty promises or fake apologies. No more supporting or guiding others along the dreams they will eventually give up on. No need to waste my time on the people not worth the first glance. I am done.
I came to this decision only days ago when I realized that I had (again) not been included in something certain individuals were planning. And considering what these people had claimed, promised and obviously lied about, it seemed like the perfect sign.
Sometimes saying good-bye is the easiest thing to do.
Now, I have not yet informed those being ejected from my life; I prefer to deal out that news in person. So why am I writing this now? Well, because it will make no difference. Even if the soon to be gones happen to read this, either they will not realize it is about them or they simply will not care. Beyond ta-ta, there is nothing else left for me to say.
I have two books, one script and a rather popular website to manage (and let us not forget the shiny new job). I have no interest in repairing something that I did not single-handedly destroy. Not my worry, folks. I did my part and if you epically failed in fulfilling your half of the bargain, tough shit. I will not be back up. I will not swoop in at the last minute because everyone else was again too busy to care.
Shit, I do not even want to answer the phone when you contact me for the first time in over a month.
All or nothing. I admit it; that is my demand. No part time, when the moment arises bullshit. I would say prove it, but that time is long fucking gone. That would involve faith. And to be honest (you know what that is, it is what you never are), I lost that in those not so precious few long ago.
Some people never learn. Almost sad, if those same people were not the epitome of cunt. Now, for the rest of us, it is not very difficult to figure out. Common sense, no, common decency. That is the key.
People are not there to be used. They are there to be cherished and loved and honored. There is no room for lies between friends, yet those I am unceremoniously dumping on the sidewalk have fed me nothing but. Little lies, mostly, but lies all the same. After all, how can one regain trust and rebuild long dusted connections if honesty is so fucking hard to come by? Pull you ugly ass misshapen head out of your fat hairy ass and take a good hard look around you. Can you not see? Are you truly that blind? Or am I right and you only really give a damn about one person? Consider your answer carefully as I all ready have a very strong and damn near unbreakable opinion about you. Try to remember that every word that falls from your lips screams lies.
I would never stop someone from raising a defense for their acts of douchebaggery. Of course, there is nothing that I can imagine you saying that would change my mind. And seeing I am so close to one hundred percent sure that there will be no attempts made from any of these hapless formers to slither back into my good graces I am already gone, it really is just a formality that I listen to the bullshit before saying my piece.
I am done.
Instead of wondering why would you do that, I just jump straight to lying sack of shit does not deserve another coherent thought. Serves me well. Just ask the last few douchebags I cunt-punted out of my shiny happy life. And guess what? Each one wishes they had done shit differently. Their words did no good, as there was no going back. Living by when I break I break has simplified so much. Learn your lesson within the allotted time or you will lose. And from now on, there are no retakes.
I am done.