I recently saw an Instagram post from actor Brendan Meyer (Jake Powell, Fear the Walking Dead: Flight 462) where he excitedly announced he’d finally seen A Streetcar Named Desire. In the comments, someone compared him favorably to Marlon Brando (the classic’s star) and his response to it (as well as what followed) got my brain cranking. I wondered, why’s he being all ‘aw shucks’ about this? He is a dang fine actor.

UPDATE: Brendan Meyer contacted me and told me he does not suffer body issues and that the entire exchange was an inside joke between him and a buddy. His full response:

Hey! I gave it a read! I actually don’t struggle with body self image issues (thankfully) — I was bantering with a buddy on Instagram … kind of an inside joke. However, I am very aware of these issues due to my research for Starving in Suburbia. I do think it’s very important for people to love themselves as they are, and change the things they don’t like IF it’s changeable.

And I was reminded that boys – yes, those hyperactive proud penis owners – can feel all self-conscious about their bodies.

Okay, NOTE time: Before I begin, I just want to point out that I don’t know whether Mr. Meyer has any body-related issues and if he finds any of this offensive in any way, I’m sorry (and I never apologize). It’s just that when I saw those two comments (see highlighted portions) they struck me as I don’t like my body. Of course, by assuming he’d actually read anything on my little website is probably more offensive but for that, I do not apologize. I have no shame. Basically, I saw something and decided to use it as a teaching moment. Okay, back to it now.

I’m not the only one who got this impression, right?

It’s not that unusual for boys to compare themselves to other boys, even in the locker room (so don’t think it means you’re one way or another or even both). They even check out bigger, fitter and more mature members of the same sex. Hey, it’s natural. And, y’know, it’s so not hard to find jacked dudes to be envious of; from the WWE superstars to Disney Channel’s six-pack brigade (if you doubt, watch one episode of Austin & Ally) of Gaston-liked celebs (looks, not attitude) not even old enough to vote are already killin’ it at the gym.

Is it pressure? If so, where is it bloody coming from? Are boys feeling they don’t measure up so they need to push themselves to achieve these results or is it from outside influences, telling them you need to be better?
Um, yes. And yes. Also, yes.

C’mon, y’all, the truth is right there. When you see someone like Brendan Meyer (remember, this is pure conjecture for educational reasons and also still sorry) who’s talented, famous and attractive (okay, frikkin adorbs) seems to be (see? conjecture!) unhappy with his [input body part(s)] it’s no wonder “average” folks who aren’t the star of a many sweet dreams can feel so damn low.

Think about that for a minute, will you? He has an obsessive fanbase, drool-worthy looks, bursting with talent and he doesn’t like something about himself.

It’s so much more complicated being a boy than people realize. Like, dang.
And it doesn’t stop at looks and weight, either. There’s also hair, height, foot size (not a euphemism) and penis size (see? I just up and said it so there). Another NOTE: that whole foot equals penis thing is total bollocks. I’ve done heavy “research” into this. So, um, yeah.

Truth be told, you could be five feet tall, weight ninety-pound soaking wet with a brick in each pocket, wear a size six shoe and pack a whole five and a half inches and still be just as much a man as Schwarzenegger (yes, that was hard to spell) himself.

Remember what we went over last time? If not, let me remind you: a man is a boy who had reached majority. So chill. You’re good, little dude.

And for the record (let’s make this NOTE the third) the average length of an adult erect penis is about five inches. So if you’re still pubescent, relax. You ain’t done growing yet. And if you are, relax. It’ll still get the job done. Oh, and ignore the ridiculousness that is porn. Honestly, sex is nothing like that. AT ALL. But that’s a rant for another time.

Now, if you want those six pack abs, go for it. If you wanna drop a few, or a ton, of poundage, have at it. But do it for you and only you. Don’t do it to be like the hubba hubba in A Streetcar Named Desire cause that’s not you. And you’re great just the way you are. And know that you’re more than the skin you’re in: you’re talent, compassion, smarticles and so much more. Don’t worry so much about your pecs or moobs; concentrate more on what really matters: your happy and healthy.

Pink was so right.

I personally prefer the unedited version but I’m tryin’ to keep it clean. so, yeah. Enjoy the f-word free version.

Oh, and Brendan… yeah, sorry, dude. Also, this holds true for you, too. Don’t go thinking you’re not good enough. Cause like every other boy, you are. That I also won’t apologize for.

Will is an author and artist and producer (it’s only one indie short film but it’s on IMDB.com so it totes counts!) and founder of fetchentertainment.com and pain in the ass. He rather opinionated and has no problem sharing his thoughts on a variety of topics from the freakshow that was Election 2016 (how tf did Trump freaking win!?) to the importance of matching that belt to those shoes. He adores penguins and has a maniacal plan to use an army of them to take over the world and crown himself Emperor of All That Is (though he’d be happy with the Winter Russian Palace in what he would rename Mine!-Mine!-Mine!) but until then enjoys hiding away in his apartment and writing all sorts of tales that would worry that cokehead Sigmund Freud (really, we should believe he snorted for science!?) and drawing pictures of his creations.

Leave a Reply